Introduction
In professional communication, impersonal language can often come across as cold or distant. Making language more personal and engaging can improve the tone, increase reader connection, and enhance the overall effectiveness of the message. Below are examples of how to make commonly used impersonal phrases sound warmer and more reader-friendly.
a) The customers will appreciate the fact that the company is giving a 10% discount on computers this month.
Improved Version: We’re pleased to offer you a 10% discount on computers this month – we hope you’ll take advantage of this great deal!
Why it works: This version addresses the customer directly and includes a friendly tone that builds rapport.
b) Further to your recent communication, please find enclosed the requested quotation.
Improved Version: Thank you for reaching out. I’m happy to share the quotation you requested – please find it attached.
Why it works: Using a conversational tone makes the sentence sound more human and appreciative.
c) If the customers have any further questions they should contact the company at 9886745612.
Improved Version: If you have any more questions, feel free to call us at 9886745612 – we’d be happy to help!
Why it works: Replacing “the customers” with “you” creates a direct and friendly appeal.
d) It was discovered that the salary totals were incorrect.
Improved Version: We noticed an error in the salary totals and are working quickly to correct it.
Why it works: This version adds accountability and a reassuring tone that shows action is being taken.
e) The list of the names and the number of people attending the course has not been finalized.
Improved Version: We’re still finalizing the list of attendees for the course and will share it soon.
Why it works: The revised sentence uses inclusive language and a forward-looking tone that sounds more engaging.
Conclusion
Making language more personal is a simple yet powerful way to enhance communication. By addressing the reader directly, using active voice, and adding human warmth to the tone, impersonal phrases can be transformed into friendly, effective messages. This not only improves reader engagement but also builds better relationships in professional settings.